- For people who tend to dominate meetings: How to identify yourself as an Alpha Dog, and tips to change.
- For meeting moderators with Alpha Dogs participating: Tips to running successful meetings, ensuring that everyone gets to say what they would like to. How do you handle phone meetings? IRC meetings?
- What is it's an Alpha Dog moderating the meeting? How can you encourage someone who wants to speak to be a good moderator?
- You know an Alpha Dog, who is unaware of his condition: How can you tell him, and help him reform his ways?
Add notes here!
Taming the Alpha Dog
Session Leader: Dave Neary, firstname.lastname@example.org
Table 4, 3pm
Note taker: Jane Wells, email@example.com
Michael Durney OpenMKS
nxcamp Richard Meinsen CDG Berlin
Lance Albertson OSU OSL
Ross Turk inctank
Dawn Foster - Intel
Stefano Maffull - Openstack
Dan Allen - Red Hat
Leslie Hawthorne - Red Hat
Sarah White - Fedora
Raise hand to speak
Know when you are dominating
cultural bias in school to raise hand
What can you do in a meeting to stop someone from dominating
Amy: Abolish handraising
Jane: shut up!
Raise hand stays
facilitator calls on raised hands, but if someone is dominating...
Amy uses peer pressure in group to decide if need to stop
Steffano: slow down conversation if online so others can jump in
Jane: nacin trac tickets throttle yourself
Jane: if someone won't let go of the couch, what do you do?
Leslie: Is this what you're saying? Great! next?
Stefano: tweet this :)
Blonde Jane: What if it's just a chat that's gone way off base?
Dave: Natural alpha takes mantle of leader, s/he takes 1/2 the airtime
Langdon: taught it helps to just shut up when you want to talk, 9/10 times it will build better vibe around table
Amy: stack the list/handraises to keep track of who will speak next (like conference calls)
Jacob: How do you stack online? Like in comments? Huge longwinded arguments etc?
Leslie: contact directly - praise passion, ask to chill out to help discussion broaden
Ross: Talk radio: turn off the mic, not friendly but works
Stefano: direct their enegry to something else they can do
BUT->AND->can you do something
Michael: Bozo in forums (Jane confirms)
Langdon: group calls, pre-meeting, goal, point person to tell people to move on etc. if not sticking to team goal
Dawn: 1 on 1 coaching when epople don't realize that they're being too long winded & no one is reading it
Dave: keep looking around
Ross: want to be vacilitators? Nope
Leslie: taking notes means taking control of the conversation in the end
- meetings - use red card, yellow card, etc
ground rules - how much time each person gets
Richard: see yourself as a leader or an organizer, coordination
Ross: my job is not to lead but to identify & grow other leaders
Dawn: problem if I'm too frequently posting b/c I shouldn't be the loudest voice
Jane: having lots of knowledge & being asked a lot of stuff? ask a lot of questions yourself to invite others to share instead of just being the answer person
Dan Allen: What can they tell me, rather than me just giving them info on mailing list, feel lazy b/c not participating sometimes, fight feeling of letting people down
Dave: should we call ourselves community *manager*? what is right level of activity on our part? leading by example is important, but if you'r eleading and you need followers - otherwise just a man taking a walk
Stefano: How do you train yourself? leading, nurturing, etc.
Russ: Make mistakes
Lance: observe others
Dave: How are you self-aware - do you know when mistakes made
Leslie: hashmarks when I talk. If page too covered, I need to shut up
Dave: telling someone to slow down might make them leave
blue hair: make them understand, don't manipulate
Russ: Sometimes I don't feel other people stepping up like I want to, so go alpha
Dawn: Fine to have convo on how intensive it is (ref: Paula's book) give people a few chances & tell how can do better
Langdon: 'dead air' anxiety is cultural to north eastern US. half second of ?? is space that needs filling. Other places don't have that.
Dave: negotiating tactic - dead air
Thierry: someone pops up @ middle as alpha
Dave: how do you involve people who are quiet? don't want to call out or put on spot
Jane: we ask them if they want to tal, still agree
-: back channel in IRC or etherpad
amy: how does that fit into the real meeting
-: depends on the format, but might get brought up in real channel
Dan: can see what people thinking in the channel
Langdon: jump in to raise the channel issues/comments
Dave: Jane, how doe calling people out
Jane: We try to keep it supportive
Michael: in opopsite - what about elephant in room
Leslie: "I know we don't want to talk about 'awful thing' but it's hampering project, I feel this way"
Ross: use humor
Jacob: Same as Lesli4e, be blunt or funny, don't inore. but when shy people not willing to be in line of fire w/target on chest
Dawn: helps to express frustration - get it out in open & be honest
Langdon Changing channels of communication can help (delayed response vs. IRC etc)
Jane: some comment on blog more than IRC but not that big deal
Jacob: why do people complain after instead of participating at the time of meeting (like D8)
Paul M: back to different channels having different effects
Jacob: Do you force complainers to use official channels
Dawn: depends on motivations. Being passive aggressive = bad, but some people just take time to process their opinion = good because they are really thinking about it.
Leslie: encourage back channelers to join real channel to affect decision & take responsibility that to have impact on decision you have to shut up "don't hide behind introverted label"
Stefano: disruptive people -> attacking decision or decision making process?
Jane?: If immed. after meeting, probably passive aggressive. get them into real meeting. if thoguhtful, post later
Dave: you have to manage confrontational person based on behavior
Michael Dexter: Aspergers or assholes?
Rich Michaels Smaller groups instead of larger groups & more likely for more feedback/participation. backchannels in IRC = safer space
Dawn: We push for decisions too soon, when there are dominators people need more time to think
Langdon: if a thread is going too far afield, bringthem back & set up a new meeting for new thing
Dave: People remember different things from meeting after the fact
Stefano: How o we make devs not hate meetings
Amy: love facilitation because people can be more creative when they know the boundaries
Dave: how to have better meetings?
Jane?: Agenda - what decisions should be made by end
Langdon: too many people/broad/width takes too long to get to the part that applies to you
Dave: how od you avoid meetings with too wide scope
Dan: if agenda, can speak up in advance
Dawn: have purpose of meeting set in advnace. "general communication" is not a purpose
Rich: take page from standups. have a moment for each person quickly
Ross: do email in meeting if purpose not clearly defined
Dave: on phone calls, we do email, etc. if not relevant meeting context
"human retweet" = Leslie hand gestures